Tag Archives: the fucking meaning of life

I got in! And other news.

A week ago I went to Gamleby Folkhögskola for my last audition. This is Gamleby Railway Station. You can barely see the sign. The platform is like 20 meters long and that’s it.

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Anyway, I got in. Yay! And then, a few days later, I got the acceptance letter from the college I’ve been wanting to get in to the most – Löftadalen. Yay again!

So I needed to make up my mind. As always when you need to choose, there are benefits and drawbacks to every alternative. I refused to make a pro con list. I might have made one in my head though. Secretly. Shush! I eventually decided to go to Löftadalen and I’ve now paid the tiny symbolic registration fee. (There are no tuition fees in Sweden, unless you’re a non-EU citizen. For your information.)

Before the Gamleby and Löftadalen auditions, I had a gig in Gothenburg that I haven’t written about. It was at Dirty Records, a record store with a nice little café.

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I daresay it was my best gig so far. I’m feeling more and more relaxed about it and that’s a good thing for me. Some people claim that nervousness is good, that you get focused. That’s not how it works for me. If I’m nervous, it’s because I honestly believe I’m shit, and I then perform accordingly – or at least feel that I did, even if everyone else thought it was good. If I’m exited and eager to play, I focus and sort of remain in the moment. That’s when I feel that I get, like, a connection with people in the audience, that I’m there and they are too and it becomes a meeting and something we share. Being nervous and anxious makes me insulated from others. That’s not the kind of performance I want to make. I want to be out there – not afraid of failure, but invested in making something that matters.

Now that the auditions and the booked gigs are done I can focus on recording again. The reason I haven’t updated my gig schedule on the website in a while is that I haven’t booked any more gigs for now. I’m making plans for an EP. More info coming soon …

I’m also considering artwork options. I want to make something meaningful, something that adds to the music. On my facebook, I’ve got pictures with the lyrics and some drawings, but my drawing skills only go so far and I think I need to involve some other people in this. I’ve got a couple of names in mind for the artwork. (Names of some talented friends, that is. Haven’t talked to them yet so don’t feel left out if you’re a talented friend of mine whom I haven’t asked. I will, certainly, ask you.)

This is how far my drawing skills go, by the way:

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(Drawing session in a pub in Gamleby.)

On that topic, I’ll make sure to upload my artwork lyrics things to the website too. I wonder why I haven’t done that.

Oh, and by the way, my and Simon’s tomato and chilli plants and lettuce and herbs are happy and growing in the June sunshine. Look! (The stupid Spanish slugs ate most of our lettuce down here though. The flower box lettuce is happier.)

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Imagine if life could be only music and tomatoes.

I’m imagining it. I’m going there, slowly. Which is nice.

Welcome to my world

Hello and welcome to my blog.

I’ll post stuff about living as a musician and still trying not to be stressed out and unwell all the time. It will also be about what art can do, how it can change us and help us make things right. Like, make things right as a species. That’s big. That matters.

Let me quote myself to explain. These are (part of) the lyrics for my song Stories (which I’ve started recording and will upload as soon as possible):

I don’t know where to turn for answers
I don’t know where I am
I coat my life in lies that comfort me
Don’t scorn me ’cause I turn to stories
We all do that

We don’t know where to turn for comfort
We don’t know where we are
We need a sense that there is hope for us
Some stories make things worse, some help us
To make things right